I know I said I’d keep my political hobbies off of this blog, but this story just touched some very deep seated and very emotional things in me and this is the only place where I can write them out in a competent manner. I will however make the promise that I will do my best to not talk about political opinions. A few may come out, but it is not my intent to talk politics on this entry. I do have a reason for this.
This story (Link!!! Do not read the link or this entry if you don't want to look at horrible things humans do to each other for stupid reasons, this is not a light subject. Go look at pictures of kittens instead, it'll help you keep you sanity.) is related to the recent terrorist massacre that occurred in a mall in Nairobi, Kenya. A very terrible and serious tragedy that just gets worse the more you read about it. It is an onion of awfulness that for some reason I can’t stop looking into and I don’t know why.
This particular story is about a conversation between one of the gunmen and a 4-year old child. The child, in the middle of the slaughter, looked the man dead in the eyes and said to him “You’re a very bad man.” That’s it. The boy spoke in an honesty that is only possible in the hands of a child my daughter’s age. He looked evil in the eye and called it what it was. The gunman looked back at the child and honestly said the following things: “Please forgive me, we are not monsters.” “Do you forgive us? Do you forgive us?”
He handed chocolate bars to the kid at some point during this. This particular group of gunmen was going through a supermarket in the store and allowed everyone with children to leave. Not every group of gunmen in this attack did this though.
Why am I speaking about this on a gaming/nerd culture blog? Because it touches on some things that are not only philosophically important, but also important in storytelling. I looked at this one story and was struck very hard by the gunman’s words. He doesn’t see himself as evil. He can’t see himself as evil, he is the hero of his story. Everyone is the hero of their own story.
Take a moment and start reading through that comment section. I’m a fan of The Blaze as a news source, but their commenters are some of the worst this side of YouTube. The contrast of the comments and the attitude of the shooter are fascinating to say the least. It is amazing to me that these people can’t see how their own attitudes are exactly the same as the gunman’s. Deep in their own narrative they think they are just as justified to make wild accusations and speculations about the fate of people’s souls and how “right” they’re living.
Then, in the middle of reading this stuff I realized something. Being a player of RPGs, a person who overanalyzes character motivations in fiction, self-identifies as a Mises/Hayek Libertarian, and being someone who understands major portions of his own craziness* I felt like I was able to have a brief glimpse into that gunman’s mind and motivations. Why was I able to catch a glimpse? Entirely because of gaming.
(*- An article series I read following the Sandy Hook shooting really helped me realize and think hard about some things. I understood how someone could get there because of my own issues and problems. I never got even close to the point that shooter got to, but I could see how I could have ended up going further down that path. It’s a touchy subject that I don’t want to go into on this blog any more than this. If you want to know more, ask me over a drink sometime.)
Gaming has always been a creative outlet for me. Over the years I’ve wanted to improve my roleplaying andwriting skills so I read a lot about character development, motivations, etc. In addition to this I read a lot of political and historical books while paying attention to current events because of my other hobbies. Understanding these things and implementing them in stories/characters/backgrounds has helped me out immensely in making my characters more realistic and have believable motivations.
What happened to me though during this story was that I applied the same logic and questions I normally do when I see a story or a character in a work of fiction, the difference here being this was a real world monster who suddenly showed a bit of his humanity underneath. Suddenly this all made sense. This doesn’t justify it, or his actions but I was briefly able to understand the motivations of such an individual. No one believes themselves to be evil unless they’re bat-shit crazy. The real world is full of people doing what they think is best for themselves or their families or their communities.
Briefly I was able to role-play as this gunman and suddenly I understood far more than I should be able to about the mind of such a person. I was immediately able to see the same mentality in the various commenters, or random political pundits.
My gaming helped me understand the world a bit more, and strengthened my resolve for my other passions. Gaming well is not only a release but when approached the right way, just like anything with complex characters and themes in fiction, it can teach you things about the world and allow you to explore reality in a new light.
My gaming helped me understand the world a bit more, and strengthened my resolve for my other passions. Gaming well is not only a release but when approached the right way, just like anything with complex characters and themes in fiction, it can teach you things about the world and allow you to explore reality in a new light.
Now, back to the regularly scheduled nothing new… maybe
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